ceruleansky: (Default)
Well, I got offered the apartment on Monday morning. Unfortunately, the realtor hadn't yet asked the landlord whether my A/C unit would be okay to use there. (He pays the electric bill, so if my machine racks up hundreds of dollars' worth of electricity in one month..you get the idea.)

Monday was kind of stressful. I waited by the phone all day. Turned out, the landlord was in court, and therefore unreachable. My normal MO would've been to angst and whimper all day, thinking "he's gonna charge me extra!" or "he's gonna be a dick and not let me have it!" This time, I refused to do that. I just said, "I hope he gets out of court soon so he can let Wendy know the AC is alright to have." I also let them know that my AC is an Energy Star model, uses 490 watts, and has an energy-saver feature (in other words, it's not an old-fashioned energy-sucking AC unit from hell). I'm sure this helped.

Yesterday morning I got the confirmation that the AC would be fine to use in the apartment. I named a time and went up with Mom to measure the place and put a deposit down. As a bonus, the apartment has a closet that I didn't see when I initially looked at it. So I don't have to buy a silly freestanding clothes rack after all. I can store my clothing properly and not look at it all the time! Wonderful!

It also occurs to me that this apartment came into my view as soon as I made the decision to live alone in a small space. Before last week, I was waffling about it. As soon as I made up my mind and started imagining what it'd be like, the apartment materialized. And it is a great little place. I just love it. :)
ceruleansky: (Default)
I've gotten the apartment!
Instead of letting negativity crowd my brain about it, I've been visualizing myself in the space all weekend, making it homey, being comfortable in it.
And so, I passed the credit check and got offered the space. Without references, even. Could be coincidence, but I think this whole positive-affirmation theory is working.
ceruleansky: (Default)
Resource book: You Can Heal Your Life by Louise L. Hay.
Theme: consciously replacing negative thoughts with positive messages.

Today I had my first apartment-viewing in nearly 3 years. When I moved out of Cambridge, MA 2 years ago, I moved in with my mom. Since then, I've been craving independence in a major way. I haven't lived alone since early 2002, and I want to release myself from the old submission-resentment pattern I've developed with housemates. This is my time to build myself up, both mentally and physically.

An apartment-viewing is the perfect opportunity to replace old, negative self-talk with positive affirmations.

Instead of succumbing to the old traps, I repeated a few different affirmations to myself over the course of the day.
I am charming and successful. My opportunities are plentiful. I will attract a positive, comfortable living situation. I will find a safe, peaceful place in which to heal my body and spirit. I am gaining control over my life with every step.

Some thoughts I had about the smallness of the studio space:
This space is large enough to fit the necessities of my healing adventure.
I feel safe and comfortable in this building.
I welcome the opportunity to creatively organize my space.


What really grabs me about the apartment is that it's safe, predictable, serviceable. No nasty surprise bills; all utilities are included. And it's pleasant. Bright and cheerful, good airflow.

I am optimistic. Which is kind of the whole point of this project.

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ceruleansky

May 2009

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